Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize