im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I want to fling myself into the sun
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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