Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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