he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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