I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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