The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
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Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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