id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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