i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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