I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize