just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
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Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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