I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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