so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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