The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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