My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
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Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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