I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize