That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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