Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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