Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
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Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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