I want to stick my p in your. b.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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