He is an equal opportunity slut.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
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it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
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I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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