the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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