I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm like, not good at living.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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