All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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