This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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