I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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