it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
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I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I deserve this hangover.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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