I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize