you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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