"it" just moved
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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