I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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