Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Go study a dick amy that's outrageous

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  (586): Go study a dick amy that's outrageous http://tfl.nu/yka3
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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  (510): The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door. http://tfl.nu/oawg
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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  (613): Sorry, I don't speak sober. http://tfl.nu/dwuu
  Replies (8) Good night (4031) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test

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  (318): Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test http://tfl.nu/zno9
  Replies (20) Good night (5306) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

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  (732): doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn. http://tfl.nu/3kzi
  Replies (15) Good night (1389) Bad night (4857) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"

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  (615): I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program" http://tfl.nu/jmw5
  Replies (9) Good night (1365) Bad night (3183) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.

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  (647): there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper. http://tfl.nu/yyzx
  Replies (14) Good night (6101) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.

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  (630): He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table. http://tfl.nu/sm7d
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (1929) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it

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  (573): Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it http://tfl.nu/okq1
  Replies (5) Good night (897) Bad night (2879) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character

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  (361): I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character http://tfl.nu/1uae
  Replies (8) Good night (3484) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.

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  (817): Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/x9uh
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.

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  (608): I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/60pl
  Replies (5) Good night (557) Bad night (2251) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?

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  (909): You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail? http://tfl.nu/0cec
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.

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  (304): It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town. http://tfl.nu/067f
  Replies (14) Good night (522) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Coming.

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  (318): I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this. (504): Coming. http://tfl.nu/0nn7
  Replies (8) Good night (1079) Bad night (201)

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