She's JV to your varsity
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
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you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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