He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize