New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize