I bet he comes in French.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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