The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize