She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He uses pillows to masturbate.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
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It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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