Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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