I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
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