Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize