so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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