he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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