oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize