Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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