seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize