yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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