that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize