Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize