he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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