Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize